Before my move to Rota, Spain, I had forgotten what it was like to be the new kid on the block. I had lived in Washington, D.C., for over five years and I was settled — great friends, great job, great community — life was familiar and comfortable. Life in Rota has been anything but familiar and comfortable, and at times it has been incredibly difficult. I know that this won’t be the last time that I’ll be the newbie, so I’ve acquired some tools and tricks for our next PCS:
Look on the bright side. Next time, I am going to look at the positives about PCSing and life at a new duty station, instead of the negatives. I’ve learned this year that everything is about perspective. When I was focusing on the negatives (missing my family and friends, frustration over the time difference, etc.), my attitude turned negative, and I wasn’t pleasant to be around. I should have thought about the amazing things that I was gaining: the chance to live overseas, the opportunity to make new friends, travel … you get the point.
Experience the local culture. You may be thinking, “OK, that’s easy to say when you are stationed in Spain.” That’s true, there are countless opportunities here. We did a pretty good job experiencing Spain, but we could have done more. Next time we’ll be sure to get out there and explore.
Take risks. I’m not saying to do anything dangerous (I am one of the most risk-averse people I know), but I will say this: Be sure to step outside your comfort zone every once in a while. Life in Spain has reinforced for me that just because something is different doesn’t mean that it is wrong or bad. For me, taking risks could be attending a get-together where I know no one, trying new foods, learning the local language, or developing a new hobby.
Talk about it. I won’t be afraid to tell someone if I am having a hard time. I was famous this past year for keeping things bottled up and then having a breakdown. It would have been much better if I had let Aleksei know what I was going through and what I needed. Some days it was someone to feel sorry for me (we all have days when we just need to cry); other days it was a kick in the butt.
Do something for yourself. I think that this one is difficult for a lot of military families. We’re often so focused on helping others that we forget to treat ourselves to nice things every once in a while. It could be something as simple as taking time to read, exercise, or indulge in a bubble bath.
The important thing is to step outside of a routine of completing things that you have to do and do something that you want to do. For me, it was horseback riding: This region of Spain is famous for its horses and I used to love riding, so why not give it a try? Now, three days a week, I ride for an hour in the morning. Horseback riding has become my oasis away from work and the household chores (something always needs cleaning).
I’m sure that I’ll have to reread this post the next time I’m in a rut, and that’s OK. I’m the only person who can control my attitude, and you’re the only one who controls yours. It’s important that you give yourself permission to have a bad day, but you shouldn’t give yourself permission to have a bad two or three years while you wait for the next duty assignment.
To be continued …
